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Tuesday, 29 June 2010

  • 4:08

    Tired.....

    Tired all the time

    Eight Hours of sleep,..... twelve hours of sleep 

    How much is too much 

    do I need alcohol to sleep,..... or live 

    When will I ever stop smoking? 

    What is love?

    How do you define something when no one knows what it really is ...... 

    "attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers" 

    Fuck you Merriam Webster......

     

    Why does money rule the world, peoples hearts, religions..............

    This is silly ,....... 

    I need a vacation. 

Thursday, 27 May 2010

  • A little update

    I finished the last semester with a 3.0. If DR BRAD would have given me my well deserved A then I would have had a 3.2, but oh well. 

    I moved, to a house on the island. I live with a really awesome girl I've become friends with over the year and I am really enjoying being in a house. P.S. She has a dog, an amazing one, and I adore him too!

    My family is doing pretty well, no big news there, other than that this Christmas is a Thomson Christmas, and Blake will be there this year! I'm pretty excited for him to meet the few remaining family members he hasn't met yet. 

    Speaking of Blake, going on a year and three months. :) He gave me a Claddagh ring which I cherish and wear every day on the hand opposite my Aggie ring. *WHOOP* 

    He and I have our rough patches, but he seems to know exactly how to bring me back down to earth, back to him, back to our life. This relationship has been more complicated, yet more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.  I'm lucky to know and love him the way I'm privileged to. 

    Work is......work. A necessary evil only tempered by the fact that my co workers have become a kind of second family to me. They've always been there to give advice, and help out when I needed it. happy Our new manager showed up right around the time my year review is due..... so thats lots of extra pressure..... but on the up side I've been with the company a year now! :)

    I graduate in may, a semester after Blake. :) 

     

    I'm so excited for my future!!

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

  • How do I feel?

    Ecstatic, Drained, content, emotionless, exhausted, productive, unproductive, mixed, insanity, tired.

    I'm supposed to be studying for marketing, and what am I doing? I'm on xanga , typing away. But now I'm left wondering If I'm content with the direction in which my life is moving. I am no longer a child, a teenager, a "young adult" and I'm confronted with all of these possibilities.......

    Marriage
    Career
    Children
    Houses
    Pets
    LIFE

    Oh Hell, am I ready for all of this? My gut instinct is to jump in and grab the bull by the balls. Everyone else is doing it..... getting married, getting pets, getting houses...... Shouldn't I want the same things? Shouldn't I be happy diving into wedded matrimonial bliss and willfully ignoring away all the obvious problems?

    On the topic of marriage: I want to marry Blake. However, I care less about the wedding and more about the actually being married to him. The daily grind of it all frightens me. However, we both have something going for us that we didn't have in any other relationship. KNOWLEDGE. We've both learned from our past enough to know when to apologize, when to listen, and when to just batten down the hatches and TALK. We're also best friends. He is my true partner in life, yet he knows me well enough when to tell me that I'm wrong. (which lets face it, I need to hear from time to time). I've had this day dream, *inbetween awake and sleep* in which I'm walking down the isle, terrified, hands sweating, knees shaking, with a veil over my eyes... then I get to the end, and Blake lifts it away,..... and I'm beaming, he's beaming.... and all I want to do is get the ceremony over with so I can finally kiss him again...... as my husband. :)

    So long story short: Marriage.... yes..... ceremony.... no.

    I don't want to type anymore..... I'm tired.

Thursday, 04 February 2010

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

  • Thinking, Monitoring.... equivocating back and forth.....
    Never ending consciousness........
    Meaningless feelings thoughts and words.... will it ever be enough.

    One story. My Story. Will it be the same as all the others?
    Do I have the strength, the will power to make it different?